Grace For ‘Abandoned’ Projects

As I write and share this, I know deep within that this is one post that I will need to constantly read back to myself from time to time. About two years ago, I started working on a certain pet project (which we shall hereafter refer to as Project P) and the excitement with which I started knew no bounds. I was so ready to dive in because not only did I feel led to do Project P, I was also so sure that I was going to enjoy the process leading up to Project P’s completion. I was wrong about number two. I knew from the start that Project P was clearly not a day’s job and regardless of this, after a few months, I was very satisfied with where it was going. I thought it was going to continue in that progression.

By the end of 2018 (the year Project P started), things were no longer going as planned. My family had to make a major move and there were a couple of new developments in our lives at the time. I knew that given all that was happening, I had to get Project P completed asap. I was worried about the potential of it becoming abandoned and so I stayed up late nights to work on it, a few nights I would stay up the entire night up while occasionally nursing my then infant in between. By the first few months of 2019, I hit a major road block that wouldn’t let me move Project P forward and life as I knew it was still in roller coaster mode. And that was when it started, my focus began to move to other things. I concluded that I was left with no other choice than to put project P on a pause, and before now (May 2020), April 2019 was the last time I worked on said project – a thirteen-month hiatus by my calculation.

Now, here’s where it gets tricky. It’s not that I was loafing around that entire time. In fact, I was working on some other honorable things which I mostly ventured into since some required resources for project P were not forthcoming. And it would be only fair for me to say that the things I did in that hiatus period have been quite rewarding (although I’d have rather completed project P first if I could have picked). Looking back now, this whole pattern makes me think that maybe project P wasn’t really an abandoned project after all. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time for it to come to fruition. I remember telling God in the heat of that conundrum that if He didn’t make a way for Project P to come forth, I would take it that it was just not the project’s due time. This brings me to my next point.

There are times when it’s just not the right time to launch a certain course of action or project – it’s just not God’s perfect timing. And except you are one of those whom the Lord expressly reveals His timing plans to, this may leave you second-guessing what you once felt led to do. If I may respond to this, I think that the least we can do if the Lord has given us a certain idea is to pursue it wholeheartedly, give it our best shot and leave the rest to Him. Our attitude should be one of: It’s going to happen in due time as I continue to be diligent with it. The idea is that if we’re not diligent with it, we can’t blame its delay on ‘maybe it’s just not the right time’ because how would we know? The way I think about it, I’m only allowed to say ‘maybe it’s not the right time’ if I know that I’m not being lazy or undisciplined and have tried my possible best. Essentially, there has to be a seed for God to bless and multiply. He will bless the works of our hands, not the works of our slumber. And He will do it in due time.

In the last year, I couldn’t help but wonder how much progress I might have made on Project P if everything had worked out as planned. By me. I had my own timeline. But if you ask me now, I’m slowly beginning to understand why one or two years ago was probably not the right time for Project P to be launched. I honestly don’t know if this year or the next is the right time but I know that I have a duty to keep being diligent at it – as long as I am not acting in my selfish interest. I get that this can be a little gray sometimes: how do I know whether it is God who is stalling this project for a reason or I’m the one who is just not being diligent enough? My answer to this is that when we search the heart of God deep enough, we will find the answer for our specific circumstance. But in conclusion, I will say the following to some three categories of people I often see and sometimes become:

• If God has laid something in your heart and you’re faithful with it, best believe that it will happen in its due time and when it does it will be beyond what you imagined. You keep doing your part. Give it your time, energy and best shot. While at it, search the Lord’s heart constantly to know what He’s saying.

• If God has laid something in your heart and you know you’re not being faithful or diligent with it, receive the grace to be diligent and watch how He makes all things beautiful in its time. Otherwise, it’s clear that the problem is from you.

• If (you think) God has not laid anything in your heart, receive the grace to be in tune with Him and hear Him speak to you. Identify the gifts you have been blessed with and plan to use those to serve Him one way or the other. Like a wise man once said, God is always speaking. It doesn’t even have to be a grand idea (by our human standards). The idea could be as simple as giving up a certain habit.

To all of us, I also say this: Whenever we feel that God has laid something in our hearts, we need to always double check that ‘thing’ with His word. If there’s anything we know about the integrity of God, it’s that He will never contradict His word, ever. There’s nothing as peaceful as knowing that we are in the middle of God’s will for us, whether something goes according to our plan or not.

‘’And I am sure of this, that He who began a great work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ’’ (Phil 1:6)

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