Enjoy The Process

I am something of a perfectionist, I like to have my i-s dotted and my t-s crossed. I like to have things planned out. I love structure. I love organized. My computer desktop has only a few folders and you can be sure each folder has to tick the ‘important’ check box to make it to my desktop. Disorganization feels like chaos to me, the sight of it could give me a headache. But life. Life is hardly ever so structured, I mean who am I kidding? I lived in three countries in two years and I couldn’t have planned for that.

In our first year of marriage, my husband concluded I had OCD (lol). And for what? Just because I don’t appreciate things lying all over the place (could you please keep your shoes in the right place, dear? thanks). And when our little guy came into our lives? A whole ‘nother level of chaos entirely but it’s safe to say I’ve since learnt to overlook certain things for my sanity. What better way to learn tolerance?

I recently took a training at work and it reaffirmed my tendency to be over-efficient and task oriented. Being efficient and task-oriented are not bad in themselves (they’re normally encouraged), but I’m now learning that it can also be overdone. I thought hard about it and admittedly, I realized how I could be so efficient to the point where I miss out on the learning points from certain phases or processes.

When I begin my day atimes, I just want to check boxes off my to-do list and get things done and dusted because that’s how I mostly ‘feel’ accomplished about my day. And to be honest, it works for me most times– at least it gets stuff done. The downside though is that I don’t think that this trait helps me much with actually enjoying the process of completing that task, it only wants to get the task over with. When I plan my tasks, there is no room for lapses. I know exactly how long I want to be on a project for and if I begin to exceed that timeline for whatever reason, I get a little frustrated (as though having a plan means nothing should ever go the opposite direction). Laughable.

Now, this doesn’t mean I will stop being a planner or no longer be task oriented. In my experience, these work, at least for life’s smaller pieces. I’d still rather go in with a plan than with none at all. The balance that I’m now committed to finding is understanding that even though I like to plan, things won’t always work out the way I had imagined/planned it. Many of us probably had a plan in our heads for the age we wanted to graduate college, buy our first house, get married, have kids or become the CEO of a fortune 500 company, but I doubt that life works out exactly the way we imagined it. And that’s completely okay.

I’ve learnt that what we want is not always what we need and the exact time that we want something may just not be the right time for us to have it. Many times, ‘our plan’ is not necessarily God’s plan but I think that somewhere in the midst of life, we allow ourselves forget this. We forget to enjoy the actual process or season designed for our growth and development. And it’s not that we aren’t allowed to hurt when things don’t work out as preferred. We are. But I think it’s also important for us to always remember that God’s ways are not our ways and He makes everything beautiful in its time – whether we feel like it or not.

I’m not going to say it’s easy to find that balance – of being an efficient planner and also someone that has an open mindset that things might not go as planned, and being okay with that. For me, this is something I’m now learning to get used to. So, if you’re like me: super-efficient, task-oriented, not-able-to-sleep-till-I-get-things-done kinda person, give yourself (and those around you) some grace today. Yes, continue to do your part, don’t live life without a sense of purpose and diligence (topic for another day). But also know that some things won’t go the way you had imagined or laid them out in your vision board. And be okay with that. Let the Lord take the wheels. He knows your name and is making all things work together for your good. Do that which you can do but learn as you go. Try to enjoy the process – even when the process is rough. Cheers!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, NIV)

See: Grace For ‘Abandoned’ Projects